After our sunny holiday in Turkey, I came home refreshed, with my usual list of to-dos. But the moment I picked up our dog from my eldest sister, everything shifted.
‘Sit down,’ she said. And then came the words I’ll never forget:
‘Our sister is sick… seriously sick.’
Cancer. Malignant. Terminal.
The room spun, and I tried to steady myself with denial. No. Not her. Not my sister. We’re weeds – stubborn, wild, impossible to kill.
I threw myself into fight mode. I made a protocol. Meditations, supplements, healing diets. I was determined to save her. She agreed quietly, perhaps just to ease my hope. But deep down, I think she already knew.
I tried everything. Called in healers, planned shifts for her care, held onto every shred of ‘maybe’. But the signs were all around me – in the tarot cards, the words from a friend who could feel more than most.
‘They’re already waiting for her,’ she whispered.
I collapsed into tears. No. Please, not yet.
Then the call came.
Her son, my nephew: ‘Aunt Hanneke, come now. Mum’s not doing well.’
And just like that, I let go of my fight and walked into the hardest goodbye of my life.
My sister, my soulmate, my safe haven, my sounding board, used her last strength to whisper one final request:
‘Will you give him a home?’
‘Yes,’ I said without thinking.
Because what else could I say?
I phoned my husband, barely able to speak.
‘I’m not asking. I’m telling you. This is what we’re doing.’
She died the next day.
The tears came like waves and wouldn’t stop.
I had lost my dear sister.
The person who always got me.
The one who knew how to hold space, how to laugh with me, how to truly be with me.
And just like that, I wasn’t only grieving a sister, I was also becoming a second mum.
And somewhere in all that pain and beauty, a new chapter began.
This is the final blog summary from The Hot Flushes Diary.
Thank you for reading along with me through the ups, downs, and everything in between.
If this touched you and you want to read the full story – raw, real, and unfiltered — you can pre-order the book here.
Because life doesn’t come with a manual. But it does come with stories.
And this one’s mine. 💛
