Welcome to our first blog post!
We’re kicking things off with a peek inside Hot Flushes Diary, starting at the very beginning—with the introduction that sets the tone for the whole book. It’s raw, relatable, and full of the kind of honesty midlife deserves. Whether you’ve hit your own cocoon moment yet or not, we promise: you’re not alone.
The Road to Realisation
‘Embracing change? What exactly do you need to change?’
My dinner companion looked puzzled as I shared what I’d been up to lately. ‘Embracing change’ had become my motto after writing over 1,100 pages about my personal journey of letting go during the so-called autumn of my life.
Was I unique? Definitely not.
All around me, I saw women in their 40s, 50s, even 60s navigating the same messy, magical midlife shift. A natural process, like the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly, except with more sweat, confusion and occasional swearing.
But change never comes quietly. My cocoon needed to crack open. And it did, slowly, painfully, beautifully. Not everyone understood it, of course. How do you explain a very personal, challenging and transformative chapter of your life in the middle of dinner?
I tried.
‘Have you got a minute?’ I joked, smiling.
So many lessons bubbled up: letting go of control, unrealistic expectations and the need to be liked. Practising self-kindness as my kids charted their own paths. Accepting that perfection was off the table now – thanks to brain fog and a body that suddenly seemed to be reading from a new manual.
This chapter of life forced me to let go of so much; roles, routines, even people I loved deeply. Grief, confusion, exhaustion… all of it swept through me. At times, it felt like a crisis. But over time, I realised: it was transformation.
From the wreckage, I began to rebuild. Not the same house, but a better one. A softer one. A life built not on musts but on maybes. On trust, peace, authenticity and passion. A life where I could still hold on, but differently.
After seven bewildering years, the cocoon cracked open for good. I emerged – older, wiser, more loving. A little bruised, but also free.
Back at that dinner table, my companion raised an eyebrow.
‘So… what did you need to change?’ he asked again.
I just smiled.
And kept writing. This time with a clearer voice and a lighter heart.
