7 stages of menopause:
Itchy – Bitchy – Sweaty – Sleepy – Bloated – Forgetful – Psycho
My sisters are twelve and fifteen years older than me, so I had a front-row seat to their menopausal journeys when I was still in my thirties. I remember being baffled by their behaviour. My eldest sister, once so efficient, lived for years with unpacked moving boxes. My other sister,
usually calm and compassionate, often snapped at me for no reason at all. I had no idea what was going on. And it didn’t stop at home.
At work, as a young manager, I struggled to make sense of my colleagues’ sudden disinterest and emotional outbursts. One woman obsessed for years over getting a company car and when I finally pulled the right strings to make it happen, she didn’t even seem pleased. At the time, I just thought, ‘Wow, what a complainer.’
But now? Now I get it. The mysterious, invisible and chaotic force that is menopause was quietly at work all around me.
From my thirties onward, menopause felt like a looming nightmare. It’s not just about periods stopping. It sneaks up on you – with symptoms you don’t even recognise at first.
The science is pretty straightforward: your egg supply dwindles, your periods become irregular and eventually, they stop. Meanwhile, your body goes through major hormonal shifts. Oestrogen and progesterone drop, while FSH and LH rise. These changes can create chaos – not just physically, but emotionally too.
Hot flushes, insomnia, anxiety, forgetfulness, muscle pain, weight gain, lack of libido, restlessness… the list goes on. It’s no wonder women feel off-kilter. At one point, I even forgot the name of a close friend who was standing right in front of me. I nearly booked a dementia screening.
Every woman’s experience is different. Some glide through it, others struggle. But the more I learned, the more relieved I felt. This was normal. I wasn’t losing my mind. I was going through menopause.
Many women don’t feel their best during this time, but what helped me most was acceptance. Your body and mind are trying to find a new balance and that takes time. I read that making small lifestyle changes can help and hormone treatments or alternative therapies might ease the symptoms. But most importantly? Be honest, with yourself and with others. Say it out loud. Acknowledge it. Own it.
Trying to explain all this to my teenage sons, I came up with a metaphor: ‘Menopause is like an old lady’s puberty.’ I told them I’d be just as hormonal, moody, and unpredictable as they were—maybe even more so!
They rolled their eyes, of course. But the comparison is real. Just like puberty, menopause is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight. Periods don’t just vanish one day, they become irregular first. And even when they stop, it takes time for your body (and your emotions) to adjust.
Once you’ve gone a year without a period, you’re officially post-menopausal. The body settles, but then it’s your turn to catch up emotionally and mentally. It’s like a second coming-of-age – complete with confusion, transformation and eventually, growth.
Everything changed for me when I read this beautiful line on a Dutch website:
‘After a fiery explosion, menopause transitions into a calm reset. Embrace it.’
This period presses pause. It invites you to reflect on your life, let go of old patterns and get closer to your true self. It offers clarity, energy, and, yes, even freedom.
In many cultures, menopause is seen as a time of wisdom an renewal. In ancient Mayan traditions, women looked forward to it; it meant they could focus on themselves. Among the Sufis, people begin letting go after 50, preparing for their final chapter in peace and grace. That was a powerful shift in mindset for me.
The message was clear: menopause is not the end. It’s the beginning of becoming who you were truly meant to be.
And so I surrendered. Like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, I let go of the struggle. I embraced the process. And now I move forward. Not bitter, not afraid, but with curiosity, openness, and a sense of purpose.
This is a short summary of Chapter 3 of the Hot Flushes Diary. Want to keep reading? Blog 5 is on the way!
