At each new stage of life, we are novices again.
– De Chamfort
‘Have you been using a curling tong?’ a friend asked me at dinner. She wasn’t the first. Even my sister had commented on the spontaneous waves in my hair.
My hairdresser confirmed: ‘Your hair’s getting curlier. It’s probably the hormones.’
At first, I laughed it off. But then it hit me out of nowhere: Help! The menopause is starting! My two sisters had both been 48 when theirs began, my mum too – and now it was clearly my turn.
With freshly dyed hair covering the growing number of ‘platinum highlights,’ I found myself reflecting. I wasn’t sleeping well. I was irritable, short-tempered and forgetful. I’d always had a sharp memory, but now I was forgetting the simplest things. My reliable four-week cycle had morphed into a chaotic three-week rhythm. It felt like the moment I put the sanitary towels away, I had to get them back out again. Always started to feel a little too literal.
Six months earlier, I’d lost 9 kilos. I vowed to ditch the yo-yo pattern once and for all. But while losing the weight was one thing, keeping it off was another story. After a few healthy months, the cravings returned. In the past, I might splurge a little before my period. But this time, the brake was gone. I couldn’t stop. It felt like I had a permission slip from my hormones to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Soon enough, 3 kilos were back on. I was so frustrated.
Menopause… The word itself started to spin around in my mind. I’d known it was coming. I’d dreaded it. I’d seen how hard it had hit the women around me. I had just spent seven years going inward, shedding layers of who I thought I was. I was ready to inspire others with my journey, to spread my message of authenticity, joy and growth. And now, this? The rug was being pulled from under me all over again.
‘You’re becoming wiser,’ my eldest sister said a few weeks later as we drove to visit our middle sister, who’d been suddenly hospitalised. Wiser? That wasn’t the first word that came to my mind. Itchy, bitchy, foggy and frustrated, maybe. But wise?
She explained: ‘In menopause, you let go of the fertility race. What you gain in return is wisdom. You’re entering your third stage: first the playful child, then the mother, now the wise woman. As the reproductive hormones fade, the youthful spark reawakens. You’ll have energy and creativity surging back. This time, to channel into yourself.’
Something stirred inside me. Could there really be something beautiful on the other side of all this discomfort? Was this not the end, but the beginning of something more meaningful?
~
Excited, I walked into my sister’s hospital room, grinning ear to ear.
‘I’ve got some news!’ I declared.
She looked up expectantly. It felt a little like announcing I was pregnant.
Instead, I beamed and said:
‘I’m going through the menopause!’
This is a short summary of Chapter 2 of The Hot Flushes Diary. Curious where the journey goes next? See you in the next blog 🙂
